It is finally January 1st, 2017.
There is no special feelings for my 2017. The only thing I know about a new year is that I can hold on to some new hope again. But sitll, I want to write down something upon the very first day of 2017.
My diary here in LOFTER started in the deep fall of 2015. Days back then were reallytough. Since I am too shy to find a psychological theropist or even have a dear friend to listen, I registerded this blog as an emotional outlet. But I don't want it to be so straightforward, so I published every artical completely in English. It has been more than one and a half year since my first essay. Once in a while, I stopped to focus on something else.
Every time before I released a blog here, my thoughts were not organisationally logical. I held an attitude of little seriousness, for being serious is not on my sterotype list. I prefer to live my life in a casual way. I feel it so annoying if I concern the sun too much before I go outside for sun bathing; I hate to count the calories so accurately so that my emthusiasm fades. And I throw away my handbag if the pockets of my clothes are capable of containing my allowance, keys as well as my mobile phone. I can be really lazy sometimes even I don't believe.
Some say that life for a girl shoud be delicate, in another word, elegant. Three years ago, I regarded that as a golden motta to remind me of decent behaviors. It was my first year after graduation from college. And finally became economically independent. As the number of my bank account rose, I was able to buy stuff while orienting on a delicate lifestyle. I was still a little fluffy graduating with my fat from college. There were seldom days for me to feel confident about my body. Even though I am becmoing a portrait potographer, I knew nothing about photography in college. I never took selfies with my cellphone. What's more, I felt so embarrased in front of any camera before. It is funny to think about the twisting contrast now.
So that'll be a huge change of me. The change was more like a journey of accumulation. In the late 2013, I got a raise after the trail period of 3 months. I bought new clothes more than anytime I did in my previous life. Time by time, I gradually figured out my dressing style. Besides, my diet became healthier with cutting down the spicy, salty and greasy food. I had my hair done at least once in a year. Despite that my appearance revolution is not motivational, I do have gained great confidence. Now I am fosusing on fasion and design, through which I mastered bunches advice to dress up. Most importantly, I began to keep a smily face.
3 years have passed and gone. I have more than one contrast based on my changes to bring out. Fashion sense is certainly a very good presentation for my life attitude. However, this is never the last one.
During the long phase, so many people passed by. I made eternal friends with some, I offered or recieved favors with some, I heartedly talked with some, I had some casual fun with some, and I loved one.
It has been entirely a year since I cut down my connection with Mr.S(I called him Mr.S the first time I wanted to have some connection with him). I am not sure why I am still holding on to that feeling. Or my voice deep down from my heart keeps telling me that, loving someone is not necessarily concerning 2 persons. A long time ago, I think I am totally able to turn over this page and love someone else. But, it does take long.
Mr.S is a huge part of my life in 2014&2015. But I am not going to hang in that sentimental status any more. In the very begining of 2017, I would like to go out of my cpmfort zone and meet more guys. I am eager for more social life, instead of sitting in front of computer for expertise improving.
To get started with 2017, I should first find a job with a further future. Who knows what surprises it will bring.
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